The Sin of Competition
When the blogging urge strikes...
I've been asked, more than a couple of times, what the hardest part of starting a church has been, to this point. It's a two-fold answer, but it's an easy answer.
Hard Part Number One...
1. Making connections with the unchurched. This has been much, MUCH harder than I ever anticipated. For 12 years, in youth ministry, I lived and moved and breathed primarily in the church context. I knew non-Christians, but they were teenagers who would come TO ME by way of their friends/families. My ministry was primarily challenging teenagers to minister to their unchurched friends. I spent more time doing that than I did actually out, building relationships with unchurched teens, trying to connect with them.
In a way, I was doing the right thing. Kids influence kids...so having our teenagers be the primary point of contact/influence was the way to go. But in a way, I was delegating the very thing I was telling our kids TO do. I was telling them that they needed to get out there and reach their unchurched/lost friends, while I was content to simply plan and structure a ministry that would target those friends once they arrived at the church.
So I dealt with 99 percent church people for those 12 years. And knowing ONLY people from that church, when Kelly and I left to start Mosaic, we had no clue where to begin meeting people and building relationships with them. We had always had the church structure to create those opportunities for us, and without that, we were(and still are) a bit lost. And we realized that most(all?) of our friends were church people.
With that in mind, we've tried to take a few steps to get out into the community and just meet people. It's a long and arduous process, but it's starting to work, and I'm excited about us(and the rest of Mosaic) discovering ways to really connect with people who aren't part of a church family. The more we make a point to do that, the more we'll see that God can do with those relationships.
2. This is where I'm probably a bit too honest. I think the other "hardest part" of church planting for this past year has been the negativity that we and others have faced from Christian brothers and sisters with whom we used to worship. *NOTE*...this isn't a lot of people, in fact it's not very many...but the amount of it, and the uneasiness that surrounds it, is enough to make you stop and take notice.
For Kelly and I, it really hasn't been that noticeable. Any negativity that we've face came initially, and it wasn't so much negativity as it was questioning. Some of it was good, honest questioning("Why not do it this way?"..."Why do it here?"). There is nothing wrong with that at all. But some of it, to be honest, was startlingly negative. People tried to talk us out of it, tried to paint it as a negative process, ignored us, stopped speaking to us altogether.
I was prepared for some of that. I guess you're never fully prepared for it, because it still stings. But it happens. When you make difficult decisions, and when your vision doesn't align with that of others, there will always be some confusion, anxiety, frustration, etc. So it goes with the territory.
What has bothered me MUCH more than that, however, is the response that the rest of Mosaic has received from many with whom they used to worship. My heart stings every time I hear of an awkward conversation at the grocery, or a snide remark, or a pitiful pleading for them to "come back", as if they've run off and lost their minds and joined a cult.
*It's important....VERY important...at this point to state that every single person who is part of Mosaic initiated their interest in Mosaic. When Kelly and I left the former church to pursue this calling, we intended to go it alone. Others have stepped alongside us in ministry without ever being asked or invited by us. Every single other person initiated contact and expressed interest. There has never been one instance, nor will there EVER BE an instance, of Mosaic initiating and invitation to someone who is actively engaged and involved in a church family.*
But it has happened. Almost weekly, we hear an example of someone getting cornered somewhere and being interrogated about Mosaic, and being hounded about "coming back". Obviously, in many of the cases, the "interrogators" are well-meaning people who are genuinely excited about Mosaic, and simply want to know how the church is coming along. Kelly and I run into people like this all the time. There are a lot of people out there, in our own community, who are absolutely rooting for us. Thank God for Christians who don't have a scorecard, and realize that we're all on the same team.
However, sometimes, it's ill-advised, awkward, poorly-executed, and done for no other reason than to guilt or shame someone back "into the fold". Again, it's not many people doing this...but it has happened. And I think I know why it's happening. Two reasons...
1. People don't like me, and the fact that I left a great ministry position to pursue my true calling.
2. They have a scorecard.
The "scorecard", as we learned from Reggie McNeal, is one of those things which has, for decades, prevented the church from being all that God has ever called it to be. And it's very, very simple:
Who has more?
Which church has more...
-Space?
-People?
-Youth?
-Cash?
-Influence?
-Programs?
That's it, that's the scorecard. And in the interest of full disclosure, let me say that up until I left to plant a church, I, for 12 straight years, kept score as much as, if not more than, anyone. I was completely guilty of it, especially in youth ministry. In fact, youth ministry is probably the worst. Everywhere I went, as a youth minister, I'd be asked, "How many kids do you have in your ministry?"
Rarely was I asked, "What is God doing in your youth ministry?".
But the scorecard is/was always there. And it always weighed on me. "Church X is getting kids left and right. What can we do to get more kids?"...."Some of our kids are going to Church X, what can we do to keep them here?"...."Maybe we ought to do this, Church X does it".
In my first six months of youth ministry at my last church, I heard about Church X almost as much as I did about our own church. And that's not an exaggeration. At times I wondered if I was working for both places. And the funny thing is, most of the kids weren't the ones keeping score. It was parents and other adults. Not most or many, but some. And the only kids who were keeping score were the kids of THOSE parents. A cycle of competition, a cycle of keeping score...
So we jump to present day, where people who have followed God's calling to Mosaic get put into awkward positions by others who seem offended at the notion that God sometimes calls people to FOLLOW HIM. People seem to forget that for thousands of years, God has called people to LEAVE their surroundings and PURSUE Him....even when it has meant uprooting and leaving behind everything that is comfortable and safe.
And yet, these people think something is wrong. How DARE someone actually follow God's leading, even if it means leaving family behind, leaving friends behind, leaving a church behind? How DARE someone actually do what they feel God is calling them to do, regardless of what others might think, instead of playing it safe and sticking it out in a place they're familiar with, even when everything inside them screams that it's not where God has called them to be?
It's all about the scorecard. Actually, though, it's not. Much of it is about the scorecard, but much of it is the fact that we hate to lose, even when we're not "losing" at all. It's the Sin of Competition, the sense that we need to keep everyone reined in, and keep adding people, so that we can claim to have X-number of people, and so that we can avoid embarrassment of having to admit that someone left our place to go somewhere else, where God actually WANTS them to be.
It's the Sin of Competition. Frankly, it's a sin I've had to repent of(and will undoubtedly struggle with again at some point). But make no bones about it, it's a sin. It's a sin, the Scorecard is a sin, the whole shebang is a sin. It's never been categorized that way(instead, we just chalk it up to human nature, which is naturally, um, sinful, in case you forgot). But it's a sin. Trying to pull people away from God's calling for them is a sin. Guilting and shaming anyone away from where God wants them to be is a sin. Casting negativity on a sister church, because you don't agree with how it does things, or you don't like the fact that people have left your place to go there, is a sin. For years we haven't called sin...sin. So here we go: sin sin sin sinny sin sin.
It's an ugly word, but it's also an ugly sight...Christians treating fellow Christians with contempt or shame because they happened to follow God's calling. That's sin.
So here are my suggestions...
1. If you're one of those people who have fallen victim to the Sin of Competition, and you're guilty of shaming anyone who has stepped out in faith to pursue God's calling, then stop it. Get over yourselves. There is an entire community out there waiting to be reached and connected to Christ. They need our undivided attention. You are using a scorecard that is wrong, irrelevant, and sinful. *Again, I've done this before too...I'm not without fault in this area*. But quit worrying about Christians pursuing their calling, and by all means, quit treating them like second-class Christians, or poor, lost sheep who have somehow wandered off the trail and have ended up in the wrong pen. Don't guilt them, shame them, or corner them with snide remarks and pitiful attempts to "woo them back". Drop the scorecard and repent of the Sin of Competition that leads you to believe that "losing" these people is a loss at all. It's never a loss when people follow God's leading. Never.
And remember, we love you in Christ. But just stop it.
2. If you're one of the faithful people of Mosaic, THANK YOU for being faithful to your calling. Kelly and I thank God for your willingness to leave familiarity(and family) to pursue God's calling for you. We have had an unbelievable year(see the entry below) and we look forward to what 2008 brings. You have made great sacrifices to be part of what God is doing, and God will honor that obedience. When you do feel slighted for being part of Mosaic, consider it a confirmation that you are following Christ, and not a scorecard. Thank you.
3. If you're a faithful follower of Christ who supports and prays for Mosaic, THANK YOU for being a fan of what God is doing. We feel the strength of your prayers, and we covet them as we move to the next level of ministry. Continue to pray for us as we reach Versailles and Woodford County with the love and message of Christ.
May we ALL make our pursuit of God's calling for us(and our churches) our highest priority.
posted by Todd at 10:45 PM
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